When Love Has Gone

It does not matter who called it quits first; ending a relationship, no matter how long or short it lasted, is always hard to do. Your mind will always go over every element that made up your relationship in the quest to find out exactly what went wrong between you and the guy you thought was Mr. Right and the process can be very painful, even if you were the one who said goodbye first.

The hurt that you may be feeling with regards the breakup can get even worse once you find that out that he who was once the man in your life has begun to see someone else. That would get you start questioning yourself as to why you have not yet moved on when he obviously has done so.

If this happens to you, you will need to deal with the reality that everything is finally over between the two of you, even if you are not exactly ready to move on. You do not necessarily have to find someone to replace him just yet; just do something that will help ease the blow of the news.

The first thing you need to do is to stop comparing yourself with your ex’s new squeeze. Stop asking yourself questions like “Is she prettier than me?” or “Does he love her more than he loved me?” or “What is she doing that makes him happy, a lot happier than I ever made him?” These questions will only make you go spiraling down in despair. Remember that whatever happened between you and your ex, you broke up because the two of you are not compatible enough to be able to bridge the gap created by whatever went wrong. The two of you are just not a good match.

Another thing you should do is to make sure that your paths will not cross with his and his new girl’s. If you have to change your daily routine, like the route you take when you drive to the office, then do not hesitate to do so. Do not ask your friends for any news about him, and tell them as well that you do not want to hear anything about whatever is going on with him at the moment. If he stays out of your sight, he gets out of your mind.

Even if you do manage to bump into him and his new girl, probably at a restaurant or at the mall, be polite and do not snub them. Smile and say hi, and then walk away. You do not need to feel embarrassed or to think you are pathetic, even if the sight of them fills you with humiliation. Being civil to them will make him think that you are doing okay and actually fill yourself with confidence.

Lastly, enjoy this time of being alone. More often than not, women in relationships tend to set aside some of the things they enjoy in order to make room for the man in their lives. Being alone is as great a time as any to reconnect with your interest and rediscover who you are. Take this time to spoil yourself and enjoy being just you and not as somebody else’s girl.